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heart.
Name is Michelle
18 on '08
Studying in S'pore Polytechnic
Wishing my life would be like an interesting movie
Comedies always make me happy
Love my friends who stood by me
Family that always got my back
Music makes my world colourful
Dating with MND, We the kings
Friday, December 22, 2006!
HandWritten on; 7:33 AM

Have you ever have the urge to cry,scream,shout or even throw things?

I stared into the blank space for like 5 mins or even more. Then I felt like crying. I do not know

what is happening to me. I felt so depressed. I thought practical stuff can make me happy. I

bought a high heeled shoes today. It was unfeeling. Tried making myself happy but , no.

Am I someone who thinks a lot? There were many things running through my mind.

I felt that some friends are ridiculous. People who turn away when you are in need. I started

to realise how realistic and cruel this world can be. Grow up Michelle.


I hate the world

Wednesday, December 20, 2006!
HandWritten on; 8:45 PM

I am feeling so confused and depressed. I felt like no one supported me in this job. I am doing this

for real! Seriously. Not for fun,for leisure or playing around. I just want them to support me in this.

There is no obligation. What is the reason for rejecting me? I have to do reflection. Yesterday had

a tough talk with my family and I am feeling so demoralised. I am not a good speaker so I am not

good in handling such situations. It was difficult for me to tackle the problems. Point 7: courageous

act. I don't think I have that. I am just an ordinary girl who is trying to change into a better person but

its difficult to change when no one gives me a chance. But I am going strong. I just need time and

space to think about it. Rejection is good. It allows people to grow even stronger. I hope I don't give

up..


Yesterday I went back home around 8. When I open the door I heard my mother said, " She's back

home!" Then I was like " huh?". Obviously, they don't usually do this?


Then they came up to me.


Mum : Congratulations ah!!


Michelle : (in confusion) huh? what?


Dad: Your boyfriend called you!


Michelle: Boyfriend?


Mum: (kissed my cheek) So good ah you!


Dad: We even bought you something!


Michelle: In the daze..


Haha. Then my mum pulled me to the table and showed me a letter. Then the truth came to light. I

got a "good progress" award. Recieved $150. Haha. I was so happy of course. That night I got to

eat KFC for dinner. The present? It was a keychain. hehe. Small but I'm contented. My father

always refused to believe that I studied. He thought I was doing something in my room. Watching

Tv or doing something else. My mum on the other hand believed me and tried telling my Father but

he thought differently. By getting this award it boost my confidence and I have something to show

my Father. SMILES.


Today I am staying at home. I just need a break. I am tired. Today is my sister's birthday by the

way.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEI MEI!!


I am broke ah. So no present for you YET. Laughs* But Jie Jie promise you I will buy something ok? =)

Jielun and Doris birthday is tomorrow. So,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Sunday, December 17, 2006!
HandWritten on; 11:31 PM

dbsk and boa singing o holy night
]



I dedicate this song to my love ones and friends! My dad,mummy and mei. Cousins and relatives.
Friends like Nadiah,Nani,Jielun,Ming lee,Lynn,Qiong hui,Ying Hui,Mandy,Tze wen,Feng Ru,Azlindah,Doris,Zakaria,Rui Xiang,Ivan,Kai Kee,Stephanie,Mun Wah,Min hui and many more others. My upline and managers:Azman,Marina and Nazri. My band members and juniors like Geok Yong,cui xin and shirely. And to all those I failed to mention your name. Im sorry!

Wish All Of You A Happy Merry Christmas!

These few days I was very depressed. My parents objected the job I wanted to work. They claimed that I had been brain washed. I just hope everything will turn out fine in the end. Now, I'm at home, slacking. I was not allowed to attend the training for my job. It's ok! I will get through it. Days will get better right? I just recieved a call from Zakaria. He said he passed his N level! Good for him! He scored like one A1 and I think 3 A2s. That was so great! The image of me getting my O level results came up to my mind. Will I be happy like him when I get my results? Or will I fail badly.

Who knows?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006!
HandWritten on; 7:36 AM

I am quite busy these few days. I even forgot to write about the chalet! Great. -_-
I am just going to update on what had been going on these few days.

I found a job. It was a tough one. Sales promoter. Went there with Ming Lee and Jielun.Everyone says that we are not going to make it. Our parents object to it. I myself do not have total confidence that I am going to earn big bucks in this line BUT I am going to try. Well, we have nothing to lose but our time. Why not give it a try? Jielun is reluctant to work there. I can't blame her because the speaker explaines that we can get incentives such as getting a car! It was tempting but there's something fishy about it. There was a saying that "There's no free lunch in this world".
I have my doubts too. It was difficult for me to make a choice. If I turn away I might lose this opportunity. My upline Mr. Azman is coming to each and everyone of our houses to explain to our parents. Is this a good thing? I don't know.

These days I have been going to the company for training. Honestly, I feel like sleeping ah. It's because I can't get to sleep at night and every morning I have to wake up at 8 plus am. Which is a torture for me.

Today when I went home something weird occured to me.

Flashback:Once I went to 7 eleven shop and a man approached.

Man:excuse me. Are u from XX secondary school?
Me: no. *walk away*
Man: * followed up* Are you sec 2?
Me: No. Sorry wrong person. *keep walking*
Man: *Managed to follow up!* Are you in choir?
Me: NO!
Man: Sorry sorry! wrong person.

Back to reality.
I was walking home when..
*taps*

Man: Excuse me. Are you from Yusof ishak secondary?
Me: Er, ya... *walking away*
Man: Are you sec 3?
Me: No. Sorry, I graduated. *walk even faster*
Man: Are you in a singing group?
Me: NO. *turns away*
Man: Im so sorry, wrong person.
Me: *flares up* You asked me the 2nd time mister
Man: But that time you said you're not from that school
Me: Dont know. *walks again*
Man: Can i know you?
Me: ?? Sorry. NO. Walks even faster away from him

What a weirdo.

Saturday, December 02, 2006!
HandWritten on; 7:49 AM

The RED camp was very fun! I enjoyed a lot and learned more about the course. The first day of the RED camp we were entertained by 2 interesting MCs. There was also a memorable part of the activity that we are supposed to make a photo frame just using the following materials.

-a photo
-Cardboard
-Small lights as decorations
-Scissors
-Ruler
-Hole puncher

We were given 45 mins to complete this task. The group of 4 members were made out of Me,Jielun,Mun wah and Tze wen. It was very intense. We were rushing for time and we had to make the photo frame look nice and make it stand. It was tough but we went through it all. We made the photo frame looked like a radio. I drew the ''play'',''pause'',''forward'' and ''rewind'' button on the cardboard and the word ''Panasonic'' to make it look more like a radio. The lights were decorated as speakers of the ''radio''. Jie Lun felt that the radio looked quite plain at the top and at the last few minutes she managed to cut out the letters ''N'' and "P" and paste it on the top. "NP" represents Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Mun wah was clever to come out an idea to punch holes on the cardboard and fitted the bulbs of lights inside to camouflage the lights. Tze wen did her part by helping to do most of the cutting and making of the photo frame.

Only 5 winners are choosen and they will recieve movie tickets vouchers. Luckily, we WON!
We asked Tze wen to go up the stage and she was so shy.

Jie lun and me: Tze wen! Tze wen! go up ah
Tze wen: Ignoring us
Jielun and me: go up ah tze wen!
Tze wen: Still ignoring us
Presenter of the prize: where is group 22??
*Jielun scurried towards the presenter

HahaS! We won 2 movie tickets vouchers each. I was so happy! Very very happy! =)
The lucky thing was at the end of the day they had a lucky draw and my name was called out! Again, I won another 2 movie ticket vouchers! I can watch 4 movies for free!

I did not attend the 2nd day of the camp but only the 3rd which was held today. Everyone seemed quite teary because it's time to part. Our student leaders made a video for us to watch.
It was touching indeed. I hope to join more of such activites. What a unforgettable experience.

After the camp today I went to Bugis because Tze wen wanted to look for T-shirts and she have not been to Bugis street before. So, it was an eye-opener for her. Me,Jielun,Tze wen and Shirely went together. I only bought a pair of earrings as I was broke. Jie lun walked past a so-called shop which was promoting hair products. Then she borrowed me money to buy the hair wax I wanted. THANKYOU! I will return you the money. Guess what? She even record the amount of money I owed her. -_-
Then she wanted to buy hair dye but she could not finish the whole bottle of solution so she asked me if I wanted to share the dye. DEAL! So we bought the hair dye with our money. The hair dye was selling at a lower price because of discounts so yay yay YAY!